Saturday, September 7, 2013

Da Beard

Da Beard,

I had a beard almost continuously from my early 20’s, for about 25 years for the most part. But during all those years I had never had or experienced a beard like I have now. You see I’ve always trimmed it to be very neat and professional looking. Perhaps it’s an unwritten law that a professional man should have a neatly trimmed beard. I probably would have never gone “wild” or as some might think “full tilt woolfman” had I not been inspired by Ulysses or Uli as he was known by on the Spanish ship The El Galeon, the master diver.  

I started to let it grow and then a strange thing happened, a new idea came to mind. I started to imagine the possibilities. What freedom! So when I came to Alaska it was a natural, maybe even a requirement. What’s it like to have an untrimmed beard? It’s fantastic. First of all when most strangers look at you they have this look on their face that say‘s, I wonder if he is a second cousin to the Unabomber. Like my friend Julie told me about Alaskan men, “the odds are good but the goods are odd”.

I’ve never had a “wild beard” before in my entire life until now at 57. So what’s the best thing about letting it grow au natural? Well for starters you only have to comb it ounce a day in the morning and then after that no matter what you do, it looks just like it’s supposed to! It’s like being bald except you’ve got hair that doesn’t care. You don’t have to shave, ever, how cool is that! 
It does have its down sides; it seems to scare some small children and animals so you got to smile a little wider and more often which is really not a bad thing.
It’s not just fun and games theirs a very real practical reasons to let the fur fly, so to speak. It’s bear protection, that’s right bear protection. The park rangers say if you encounter a bear wave you’re arms to make yourself appear bigger to the bear, the better chance the bear will go away. So I’m thinking the bear sees me, the gray beard and thinks, I better not f@$k with this guy, he’s old and crazy!

So it’s been a long fun ride, but I’m wondering when and how I and my new curly gray friends will part company as I imagine we probably will one day. Will it be for a job, or to win the favor of some fair maiden? Well for however long and for whatever reason that I and my new best friends stop progressing towards a new version of “Duck Dynasty”, until we part again it’s been real fun!